She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
