If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
