She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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