THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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