The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
