i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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