Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?