would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"