Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Come on in and take your pants off
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