In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I understand Curling. That high.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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