you guys were way drunker than both of me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
