did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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