Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
