why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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