so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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