I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
