I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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