So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
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i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
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Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.