I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
third nipple confirmed
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas