I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
