Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"

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  (949): so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later" http://tfl.nu/dpva
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it

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  (443): he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it http://tfl.nu/sa3y
  Replies (52) Good night (1249) Bad night (6068)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.

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  (412): I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra. http://tfl.nu/7xhn
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon

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  (304): You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon http://tfl.nu/eqby
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  We should party with her soon

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  (651): She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death. (715): We should party with her soon http://tfl.nu/q1hq
  Replies (17) Good night (8268) Bad night (1006)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.

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  (305): i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town. http://tfl.nu/vmwk
  Replies (12) Good night (5414) Bad night (988) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.

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  (502): I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time. http://tfl.nu/ujel
  Replies (10) Good night (5652) Bad night (774) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.

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  (404): Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800. http://tfl.nu/a5yx
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.

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  (712): He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded. http://tfl.nu/0j6f
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  what is it with giant penises always finding me

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  (216): what is it with giant penises always finding me http://tfl.nu/ji8j
  Replies (26) Good night (4105) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"

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  (262): He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage" http://tfl.nu/fr69
  Replies (16) Good night (8719) Bad night (1034)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.

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  (+27): I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/8fby
  Replies (7) Good night (653) Bad night (1052)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick

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  (602): Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick http://tfl.nu/rl3u
  Replies (4) Good night (327) Bad night (1248) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin

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  (209): we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin http://tfl.nu/oa4p
  Replies (1) Good night (864) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain

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  (787): She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain http://tfl.nu/0oj5
  Replies (3) Good night (447) Bad night (395) Order T-Shirt

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