we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?