I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.