Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one. http://tfl.nu/ahi8
  Replies (24) Good night (4050) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck http://tfl.nu/4wd4
  Replies (28) Good night (5926) Bad night (1052)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through. http://tfl.nu/bvv7
  Replies (20) Good night (7281) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them? http://tfl.nu/ts8z
  Replies (12) Good night (8060) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth.. http://tfl.nu/wfim
  Replies (17) Good night (4023) Bad night (1545)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic. http://tfl.nu/yvsq
  Replies (28) Good night (2415) Bad night (4766)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this http://tfl.nu/m1v9
  Replies (11) Good night (3142) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question http://tfl.nu/fvr6
  Replies (7) Good night (597) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens. http://tfl.nu/cd1z
  Replies (8) Good night (1896) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Not the worst first impression I've experienced.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face. (1-724): Not the worst first impression I've experienced. http://tfl.nu/reln
  Replies (3) Good night (745) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever. http://tfl.nu/6hp3
  Replies (2) Good night (920) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat. http://tfl.nu/bfhd
  Replies (6) Good night (811) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree. http://tfl.nu/ftwn
  Replies (4) Good night (509) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….

  (716): View more from New York

  ...Then...

  (585): View more from New York

  Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then……. (716): ...Then... (585): Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one http://tfl.nu/7kz2
  Replies (0) Good night (784) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him! http://tfl.nu/wppf
  Replies (2) Good night (337) Bad night (535)

Randomize