Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.

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(716): So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar. http://tfl.nu/a5mu

Replies (64) Good night (6722) Bad night (643)
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(706): View more from Georgia

TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!

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(706): TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!! http://tfl.nu/qyaf

Replies (3) Good night (3354) Bad night (580)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.

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(865): And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly. http://tfl.nu/a3gz

Replies (21) Good night (5784) Bad night (749)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.

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(304): There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year. http://tfl.nu/n54w

Replies (23) Good night (4668) Bad night (753)
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(585): View more from New York

please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.

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(585): please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad. http://tfl.nu/8fn1

Replies (68) Good night (11978) Bad night (2828)
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(847): View more from Illinois

The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today

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(847): The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today http://tfl.nu/8pjx

Replies (7) Good night (2711) Bad night (922)
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(903): View more from Texas

True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.

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(903): True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad. http://tfl.nu/idc2

Replies (6) Good night (745) Bad night (1629)
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(206): View more from Washington

Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)

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(206): Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :) http://tfl.nu/j8zz

Replies (20) Good night (3819) Bad night (641)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.

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(717): Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error. (1-717): Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening. http://tfl.nu/753x

Replies (8) Good night (2322) Bad night (511)
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(206): View more from Washington

There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�

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(206): There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.� http://tfl.nu/3ssu

Replies (3) Good night (1624) Bad night (463)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing

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(336): So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing http://tfl.nu/2fy2

Replies (10) Good night (1312) Bad night (453)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.

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(828): Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state. http://tfl.nu/9dzb

Replies (6) Good night (2632) Bad night (658)
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(206): View more from Washington

I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.

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(206): I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too. http://tfl.nu/htiy

Replies (0) Good night (455) Bad night (244)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.

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(314): Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink. http://tfl.nu/x6ah

Replies (0) Good night (166) Bad night (379)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.

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(314): I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work. http://tfl.nu/eou1

Replies (1) Good night (399) Bad night (185)

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