Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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