You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Shame is for Republicans.
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