jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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