Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
