your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.