I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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