me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
