Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
