I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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