Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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