I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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