I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
