shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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