used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
