i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
