Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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