I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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