At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
