i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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