It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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