Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
worst night to have a conscience
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
