I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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