I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
