Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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