this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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