Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
