Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
