Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
