I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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