Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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