I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
