that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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