every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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