how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
