used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think I sprained my soul last night
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
