Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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