The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
