Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
