Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Randomize
