Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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