Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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