Plan B is the new Plan A
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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