Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
