Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
please come you make the beer taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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