dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I have fence marks all over my body
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
