oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
